Have you ever turned your back, literally, on someone who was looking for a handout? For the last seven months, I’ve been highlighting different charities, non-profits, organizations and people that make a difference. Although I’ve learned so much, I had an experience a couple of days ago that made me realize I still have a very long way to go.
As I was unloading my kids in the parking lot of a grocery store, one of my biggest fears was almost realized. I had unclipped Mia (from her car-seat) who is very independent and assumed she was right behind me while I loaded Mikey into the stroller. After I clipped him in, Mia hadn’t climbed in yet. When I turned around, I couldn’t see her and I absolutely freaked! But, there she was about 20 feet away from me in a “safety zone” (curbed area with gravel and a tree) looking back at me as if to say “what’s your problem?” As I was going after her to get her into the stroller, I looked up and there was a young woman holding a baby and a sign, staring at me. I didn’t even take the time to read the sign before I started shaking my head no. I pushed Mia and Mikey into the store and instead of thinking about the fact that it was 4:00 in the afternoon in Arizona, and how that woman needed something…anything to help her and her baby…I found myself angry with her. Couldn’t she see how stressed I was and that she shouldn’t distract me from keeping my kids safe?
Late that night Mia woke me up and I couldn’t stop thinking about the woman, her baby, these posts and what a hypocrite I am. What good is it to write about these organizations and learn about all the wonderful things out there that I can do to help others, if I can turn my back on someone standing right in front of me who needed help?
Panhandlers are a pretty controversial subject with many and each of us has our own philosophy as to what we should do when someone asks us for a few dollars. Some people give without judgment, others hand out resources, such as where people can go to get a meal or shelter and many people work hard for systemic change. I’ve heard of people who keep nonperishable items in their car at all times to give to those who stand out by freeways.
Over the years I have given but I have also walked away too. I have to admit I don’t remember the faces of the people whom I gave as much as the faces of those whom I turned my back.
I read that Mother Teresa had a private vow for years, she would deny Jesus nothing. I really didn’t understand what she meant until a few days ago and how hard that vow must have been to fulfill. Our priest just gave a homily about how our faith is like that of Horton the Elephant’s, “I meant what I said, I said what I meant, an elephant’s faithful 100%” and my husband and I discussed how it’s impossible for anyone to do it with 100% accuracy but I think Horton must have been modeled after Mother Teresa.
I write this blog with the intention to have as a resource for myself in the future but I also need this reflection to be included as a reminder and a smack upside the head of its core purpose.
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” ~ Stephen Grellet
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